When Chai Met Coffee

One day, two friends Sanju & Sushee went out to a cafe for the obvious choice of beverage. On reaching the cafe, Sanju was about to place the order for two cappuccinos, when he was interrupted by Sushee and said, “Ek cup masala chai, please?” The waiter smirked and took down the order as the silence grew between the two friends. Soon after, the waiter returned with a cup of masala chai and cappuccino only to notice the unnerving silence between the two.

Finally to break the ice, coffee greeted chai (PLOT TWIST). Now you know, when chai and coffee engage in banter, it’s almost like a MAHAYUDH.

Who do you think won the battle?

Go on to read what the conversation between the two was like.

Coffee: “High”

Chai: “Kaise ho?”

Coffee: “I must say, you’re quite the Hot-Tea.”

Chai: “Please ‘filter’ your words, ‘coffee’.”

Coffee: “Putting chai on a coffee table. I see you’ve got quite the swag.”

Chai: “Humari baat he kuch aur hai.”

Coffee: “You know, I am the stalwart companion in the face of this crazy world.”

Chai: “Oh you mean, you make boring people more boring.”

Coffee: “I see you give people a taste of Bollywood. When chai touches your tongue, aisa lagta hai jaise khilta gulaab jaise, shaayar ka khwab jaise, ujali kiran jaise…”

Chai: “Oh, so very generous of you. You charge people up like electricity. Don’t you think they deserve some beauty sleep?”

Coffee: “Touché, but I am Love.”

Chai: “Snugs (Wait for it), But I am an emotion!”

Coffee: “You know, on days when it’s raining- a good book and a cup of hot coffee, now that’s a steamy affair everyone loves when sitting in their corner!”

Chai: But you always hear, “Mummy, Ek garam chai ki pyaali milegi?”

Coffee: “But I am always available at the instant press of a button. The process of making tea is so long.”

Chai: “Oh coffee, tumhe kya pata apne doston ke saath baithkar, woh adrak aur elaichi wali chai peene ka maza. The water boiling, the smell of adrak and elaichi brewing in the pot as the stove blends the flavours in perfect harmony.”

Coffee: “I am thick, creamy and yummy. Not cheated. Just the perfect one.”

Chai: “But you have coffee in a teacup.” (Hahahaha)

Coffee: “Don’t you get offended when people say, oh you drink tea, tell us how British you are?”

Chai: “I’ve had this conversation so many times, I feel over-caffeinated.”

Coffee: “Just brew it!”

Chai: “Yaar, tum bahut mahenge ho. Woh 7 rupaiye wali cutting chai ki keemat tum kya jaano, coffee babu?” (Nostalgia kicking in).

Coffee: “Oh you mean, drinking that pompous water?”

Chai: “I am made with the finest leaves.”

Coffee:  “You know when anyone needs to stay awake during exams or work, you will always hear- one coffee shot please?”

Chai: “Aur jab woh stress se bimaar hote ho tab kya sunte ho? – Kadak masala chai please.”

Coffee: “But you know what’s the real OCD? Obsessive coffee disorder”

Chai: “Whatever you say, I am everyone’s best-tea.”

Coffee: “Don’t boast, adults drink me. What will you chai-vinists understand?”

Chai: “I know we are not compatible. My blood group is positive-tea.”

Coffee: “I get it, I am just not your cup of tea.”

Chai and coffee were just not ready to budge. It’s always a tough pick. Unaware of the banter, Sanju and Sushee were not satisfied with their drinks. The chai was too sweet, the coffee was not too strong. Disappointed with their drinks, they both uttered together, “I think, I’ll just go with a hot chocolate, please? ( Lord of the drinks, smirking)

Hot Chocolate to Chai and Coffee: Chai ki chuski aur coffee ka ahhhh < Licks and chews of the marshmallows. ( Now that’s a perfect equation.)

Oops, looks like chai and coffee ke yudh mein, hot chocolate ne baazi maar li.

Coming back to Sanju and Sushee, they enjoyed their new choice of beverage, unaware of the battle that had just taken place. But between the two super potions, do we have a winner? Leaving it for you to decide my fellow readers. Hope you enjoy that cup of coffee or chai or hot chocolate, maybe.

Yours Truly,

Vocal Every Pal.



  • Anonymous
    May 21, 2020 at 6:22 pm

    So much humour! Amazing 🙂

  • Anonymous
    May 21, 2020 at 6:31 pm

    This is one good one, i am sure if Starbucks reads it they will put it up in their coffee shops.

    Very humourous.

  • Anonymous
    May 21, 2020 at 6:35 pm

    Obviously coffee! Is it even a question!?

  • Shilpa
    May 21, 2020 at 7:10 pm

    Su shee…(suresh n sheelpa) they will opt for ginger tea…😜
    Good going..pal ..too good loved it❤

  • Anonymous
    May 21, 2020 at 7:51 pm

    Chai chai and chai always

  • Hetasvi
    May 21, 2020 at 8:41 pm

    Dard kya hota hai usse pucho , jiski chai thandi hojaye 🙈

    Always Chai,❣️

  • Santosh
    May 21, 2020 at 10:13 pm

    Pal..U r just getting better with every story…Funny n witty at the same time.. Loved it…I’m a tea and coffee lover both BUT
    My blood group TEA Positive 😍☕,🤣

  • Madhav
    May 21, 2020 at 10:17 pm

    Coffee in the rains at the comfort of your house, chai in the rains during a good long drive. Does that make me a cha-offee person?

  • Purva
    May 21, 2020 at 10:20 pm

    Amazing banter between coffee and chai – full of puns and very funny!
    Great work! Looking forward to your next blog!


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